My darling,
You are almost 2! I can't believe how time flies! I have honestly loved every moment. I have to tell you about something you did that positively warmed my heart...
You are a daddy's girl. You always have been. I am used to it and fine with it because I am glad that you have such a loving and fantastic daddy to adore. This means that normally you go to him first for things like boo-boos, nightmares and little randoms conversations. You happily come to me if daddy isn't around, but when he is you typically show me things second which is not a problem for me...honestly.
The other night, literally at 3am I was in a deep sleep and I felt a tickle on my foot. It actually woke me up with quite a startle as you can imagine. I sit up in our room, dark except for the light of the fish tank, and I see you at the foot of the bed holding a mass of teddy bears. You drop everything in your arms on the floor and silently put your finger up to your mouth to "shush" me, and then you pointed to daddy and Wilder (who was sleeping in a cradle next to our bed) as if to tell me not to wake them. You then silently handed me one teddy bear at a time...until I had all FOUR that you carry with you on the bed next to me. After that you handed me your taggy and plucked the pacifier out of your mouth and handed that to me. I was having a hard time trying to stifle my giggles at the cuteness of the whole situation. You put out your arms to motion for me to pick you up, so I brought you into our bed assuming you would go cuddle up do daddy as usual.
I was a bit surprised that you didn't use the little stool to help yourself up onto our bed as you normally do... a few times a week. I also thought it was incredibly cute that you felt the need to hand me your pacifier, as though for some reason you couldn't be lifted into bed with it in your mouth~
Once I had you in bed the most wonderful and amazing thing happened...you crawled up and laid up against me. Not to sound competative, but I am so used to the daddy's girl thing, that this took me totally by surprise, albeit a wonderful one. So there we were, laying tummy to tummy, with your head on my pillow looking into my eyes as we fell asleep without a word to each other. I was so overwhelmed with love for you. I was choking back tears to prevent waking you as we laid cheek to cheek, with your hot breath warming my chin. I was the happiest at that moment that I had been in a long time-100% full of pure joy because you did something you don't normally do; you chose me.
We laid like that for about an hour, until daddy noticed you were in bed with us and decided to be the better parent and enforce our rule that you sleep in your own bed like a big girl. Still, you were so precious-when he whispered that you needed to sleep in your room and picked you up to carry you there you didn't say a word, just sort of laid your cheek against his chest as he carried you. It was a beautiful sight to see your sleepy eyes as daddy took you to bed.
It was a wonderful night for me, I was so proud that you came to me. Funny enough the next night you woke up crying in bed and daddy went to you and you cried out for me again. Daddy actually had to carry you in our room to see me (I pretended to be asleep to encourage you to go back to sleep) and daddy said "mommy is sleeping Lu, just like you need to be" and once you saw me you were willing to go back to sleep in your bed. I guess something woke you up and you needed to see me-perhaps it was a bad dream? But it reinforced my understanding that even though you are an unabashed daddy's girl, I can rest assured that you still love and need me to be a soft place for you to lay your head from time to time.
I want you to know that I will ALWAYS be your soft, safe place to come home to.
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