My Most Adorable Wilder,
Where do I start? How about with the most important point I have to make which is: I love you.
We celebrated your first birthday party and I have it a "sweets" theme because you are so sweet. Daddy made decorations that looked like ice cream and sundaes and candy and hung them around the room. We had streamers and balloons and after much stress about your cake, we ended up with a really cute "cupcake cake" meaning a cake made of individual cupcakes that looked like a giant cupcake. I worried endlessly for weeks beforehand on what to do for your birthday cake and though the theme seems to be easy for cake purposes, it really wasn't. I tried a recipe that I was going to make in cool cake pan shaped like a 3 layer cake, but the recipe didn't turn out. We thought about making a GIANT cupcake shaped cake in 3-D but the pan we had to do that with wasn't big enough to feel all the guests...so ultimately what we ended up with was the best option:) I shouldn't have worried so much, but I wanted it to be perfect for you.
On your actual birthday we had Nana and Meema and Boppa over for cake and more gifts...I made a simple cake in the layer cake shaped pan. You loved being the center of attention! I loved the whole week of your birthday, thinking about ways to make you feel special.
We also had a wonderful Christmas where you tore into your presents with glee. It was so fun to see your face light up when you saw what each present was. You do this insanely cute "Oh" shape with your mouth that is so cute. I simply love that look. You got a zillion toys, many "car" themed and you really seem to enjoy them. I am guessing you will be a gear head like your daddy and grandpa which is fine by me. You love to roll your cars and trucks around and are very active these days.
You seem to have an unspoken goal of turning my hair gray before I reach 32 years old. Every time I turn around it seems, there is my 11, 12,13 month old baby boy standing on top of some ridiculously high or dangerous surface. You climb EVERYTHING and anything without so much as a second's thought of how you will get down. You fell down the stairs at Meema and Papa's house 3 times on Christmas day alone! You didn't get hurt, you just fussed and started climbing right back up on them....you love to climb on to chairs, tables, walkers, the toy box, Lulu's toddler bed, the dishwasher door, the toilet...anything. I will turn my back for 40 seconds and turn and see you standing on top of a rolling toy with wheels and you just smile at me as if nothing is wrong. You are obsessed with stairs too. What a little stunt man in training you seem to be. I feel like I am getting wrinkles at warp speed thanks to you:) You are SUCH a typical little daredevil boy.
You checked out normal at your one year doctors appointment-and got 4 shots! Ouch! You are very tall, and you weigh almost as much as Lulu. At 13 months old your feet are the same size as Lulu's when she was 24 months old. You are growing like a weed! The doctor was impressed with how well you are walking and running (and climbing the steps to the exam table and playing "peekaboo" from behind the counter). He said he rarely sees kids as stable and confident on their feet at your age as you. Since you have been walking since the day you turned 8 months old you have had a lot of time to practice. You say "mama" so far and that is about it, so what you lack in words you make up for with large motor skills. The other day you started saying "da!" for dogs so I know the words are coming and I am getting very excited. You have such a cute voice and I know that you will be chattering away like your big sister in no time flat!
You are definitely starting to assert yourself a bit, but with a 2 year old sister you kind of have to if you ever want to play with a toy. She is quick to take things away from you and you are quick to screech and take the toy back. I try to let the two of you work things out on your own since the behaviors on both your parts are pretty normal for your ages, but I occasionally step in if your big sister starts to get too rough or if you are starting to get frustrated. For the most part you are really easy going and pretty calm and happy and the two of you get along pretty well. It's great that you each have a playmate. She loves you to the moon and back. She is always giving you hugs and kisses....right before taking a toy away (she is a toddler too remember).
I love having 2 toddlers, even though it can be exhausting and overwhelming at times. I am working on dealing with you both in a more calm fashion. You can be quick to tantrum some days and Lulu is in the midst of her terrible two's so I am trying to keep my calm when the storms of toddler-dom arise. It's never easy, and I'm not always very good at it but I'm working on it. I need to stay out of the toddler squabbles you two have more than I do, because I don't want to coddle you at Lulu's expense. I just tend to feel like I need to stick up for you because she is 2 and can be a bit rough for you (her behavior is normal, but that doesn't mean you enjoy it all the time).
So 2010 for me is about dealing with the fact that I am not always a perfect mom, but I need to hold myself to a higher standard and try to enjoy life with 2 toddlers even on the tired and crabby days (for all 3 of us).
No matter how difficult some days can be with my challenging little girl and my screetchy little boy, I want you to know that I am SO in love with you both that I would never change a thing. I love you so much Wilder Reagan...you life my spirits during the off times and give me a sense of calm even when I am frustrated or overwhelmed. I absolutely love to pick you up and bury my face into your neck and shoulder. You always bring a smile to my face and a warmth to my heart. I am SO thankful you are my son.
Between you and Lulu I feel like God has blessed me more than I even deserve. I lay in bed some nights and wonder what I ever could have done for God to think I deserve you, Lulu and Daddy. I still don't know, and I may never find out but perhaps its not for me to know. Perhaps I am only supposed to enjoy it and make the best of this wonderful family that I have. I love you all so much some days I think my heart is going to burst. Thankfully so far it hasn't...but still-someday it just might:)
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